Writing Around Unsupportive People

Writing is hard. Chuck from Supernatural learned it the hard way—the same way every writer learns it. Those who say writing and getting an agent and/or book published is easy are just kidding themselves. Fortunately, the writing community is full of people who’re willing to be critique partners, beta readers, or just plain friends as we all take our different paths in publishing.

They’re all pretty awesome. But some people aren’t.

I’m talking about people in your life—maybe even other writers—who don’t support your dream or don’t believe in you.

I had people like that in my life. Fortunately, they’re not in it anymore. The truth is, I don’t know why some people are like that. I’m not sure why some people have to spend their time putting others down.

But I have countless writer friends whose mom/dad/stepparent/spouse/sibling/best friend doesn’t believe in them. Sometimes it’s not just one person, but a whole bunch of people.

Being around unsupportive people can not only wear you down, but can also have a negative effect on your writing. It’s so, so easy to allow what others think to have an impact on everything you do. You’re not alone; everyone does it.

So how do you keep writing despite unsupportive people in your life?

I started by talking less to these people and spending more time with those who were supportive and encouraging. My relationships with the ones who weren’t eventually just sort of fell apart.

If it’s anyone—other than a spouse obviously—on the list above, try cutting back on the time you spend with them. A lot of writers credit someone who didn’t believe in them as a catalyst that pushed them to go for a dream. I’ve been there too. What can I say? I’m pretty competitive and don’t like to be told I can’t do something.

But even those who’re very determined that they’re going to achieve their dreams can be worn down over time by negative people. Think of the sea pounding away at rocks for years. Eventually, the ocean is going to win because the rocks can’t go anywhere. Can do nothing but take the brunt of the ocean.

It can be hard to cut back on the time you spend with people who’re unsupportive of you—especially if they’re friends you’ve known a long time, or relatives. But if your dream is to be an author, then you owe it to yourself and your writing to surround yourself with people who believe in you and want your dream to come true. If you don’t want to walk away or cut back, then try to surround yourself with more positive people than negative ones. Find a balance so the negativity isn’t all you hear.

No one can make your dream come true for you. No one will put in the time, effort, and heart you will to achieve what you want—not even your supportive people. If you don’t do it, your dream’s not going to come true.

So if you’re reading this, I’m someone who supports you. I don’t have to know what your dream is to believe in you, to know that you’re someone with amazing ideas inside of you just waiting to be words on paper. And I can’t wait to see what you do with them.

Don’t forget, I’m running a sale on partial and full manuscript edits right now. Check them out here.