Judi Lauren

Writing Romantic Conflict

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Part of my job as an assistant editor at Entangled Publishing is helping my boss (the wonderful Stacy) go through the slush pile. As a company that predominantly publishes romance books (or books with a very strong romantic subplot) I’m always surprised at the biggest and most common issue I see in submissions:

Lack of romantic conflict.

It doesn’t matter if you have lovable characters, if you have no conflict in a romance, you have a problem. I’ve gotten quite a few questions on this topic recently, so I thought we’d dive into that a little today.

What is romantic conflict?

Romantic conflict is what’s keeping your love interests from getting together and living their happily ever after. It’s the thing they have to overcome in order to ride off into the sunset.

Romantic conflict can be both internal and external. In fact, the strongest love stories typically have a mix of both types. For example, in Pride and Prejudice, the internal conflict keeping Darcy and Elizabeth apart is his rudeness toward her, and Elizabeth’s preconceived bad opinion of Darcy before they’ve even met. These two things may seem small, but they carry a lot of weight to the characters throughout the book. Elizabeth is also not looking for a man or husband, when the majority of women around her are. Throughout the book, several more things happen that reinforce their early internal conflicts, keeping it strong. Such as Darcy convincing his best friend not to marry Elizabeth’s sister.

Several external conflicts in the book work to keep Darcy and Elizabeth apart as well. When Wickham is introduced, he tells Elizabeth lies about Darcy. Because of the meetings Elizabeth has already had with Darcy, she believes Wickham without much hesitation. There’s also Elizabeth’s family–specifically her mother–who pushed her daughters at any eligible man, including Darcy, regardless of how her daughters felt. Darcy refers to her family as having a “lack of propriety,” which was a huge deal in that time.

Why is romantic conflict important?

Simply put, if you don’t have romantic conflict, readers are going to have a hard time feeling invested in the love story. People read books–including romances–to not only be entertained, but to also see characters overcome obstacles. Readers want to see characters defy odds to be together. If there’s nothing for the characters to overcome in order to be together, then the romance feels flat and will leave your readers unsatisfied.

Making strong romantic conflict

Not all conflict is strong conflict.

One popular conflict to use is the “misunderstanding” or “mistaken identity.” Both work wonderfully when paired with more. For example, in Pride and Prejudice, if Elizabeth hadn’t met Darcy before meeting Wickham, would she have believed Wickham’s lies about him so quickly? If she hadn’t had previous interactions with Darcy, that lie/misunderstanding would’ve been cleared up in one conversation.

In the 1995 film While You Were Sleeping, the heroine–Lucy–is mistaken as the fiancee of a man in a coma. Over the course of the movie, she falls in love with the man’s older brother. The romantic conflict, the thing keeping them apart, is strong on its own on his end. He has a close relationship with his family and won’t do that to his brother. So what’s keeping Lucy from telling the truth? At first, it’s because she doesn’t know how to, and the fact that the family’s grandmother has a weak heart scares her. But it develops into something more. Lucy doesn’t have any family, and she’s drawn to the closeness of the Callahans. She doesn’t want to give up the relationship she forms with them over the course of the movie.

Both Pride and Prejudice and While You Were Sleeping create strong romances by adding layers to the characters, and by using a few different conflicts instead of just one.

In some romances, the conflict is woven so tightly into the plot conflict that it acts as the romantic conflict too. In The Hunger Games, the thing keeping Katniss and Peeta apart is the Game. It’s the fact that to survive, the other one has to die. That’s a very strong conflict all on its own.

Make it realistic

The goal and conflict must always matter to the protagonist.

In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth’s dislike of Darcy (conflict) matters to her because he wounded her pride the night they met. His insult most likely had an even deeper impact because her own mother referred to Elizabeth as “plain.” Because this matters to Elizabeth in such a deep way, it can easily matter to the reader. If it didn’t matter to Elizabeth, it wouldn’t matter to the reader.

In While You Were Sleeping, the conflict Lucy is caught in is choosing between marrying Peter (the man from the coma) and finally having a family, or admitting her feelings to Peter’s older brother, and risk losing the caring family, and the love of her life.

Make it realistic. Make it matter.

If you’re looking for ways to strengthen your romantic conflict, check out Colleen Houck’s blog post that has over 80 romantic conflict ideas.

If you have questions, or have a topic you’d like to see discussed on my blog, feel free to leave a comment below, or reach out to me on Twitter!

Special Young Adult Sale: 50% Off Full Edits for YA Manuscripts

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I’m really super excited to be able to run this sale! One of the first writers that I ever mentored wrote a gorgeous YA that’s coming out in one month! I loved working on this book with Lynn, and I’m so proud of her! To celebrate, I’m offering full manuscript edits for ANY young adult book at a 50% discount. Don’t have a young adult manuscript? I’m offering any partial edit at 33% off for every age category.

What I do:

I can help you polish your manuscript and get it publication-ready. I work on big-picture issues, such as goal, motivation, conflict, character development and growth, plot structure, tension, and stakes. But I don’t just spot these problems, I also offer ideas on how to fix them, so that when you send your book to an agent or editor, it’s the best it can be.

The discount runs for this week only, meaning there are ten spots available. These spots typically go pretty quickly, so if you want one, send me an email at judi@judilauren.com today.

A bit about me:

I’m an assistant editor at Entangled publishing, working with Stacy Abrams, where I help make writer’s dreams come true. Some of the books I assisted with at Entangled include:

  • Kiss of the Royal by Lindsey Duga (July 2018)
  • Garden of Thorns by Amber Mitchell (March 2017)
  • Playing Her Secret Crush by Casey Griffin (2018)
  • Hiding Lies by Julie Cross (2018)

I’ve also been a PitchWars mentor, where I worked with promising writers to make their manuscripts shine. One of my mentees recently signed a two-book deal with Liz Pelletier at Entangled Teen. My first mentee sold his book to Candlewick Press. The mentee whose book is coming out next (!!!) month sold her book to Owl Hollow Press. You can add it on Goodreads here!

Testimonials and a full list of my editing services are below!

Judi was amazing at seeing where I needed to develop on big picture area (character development, theme), the craft of my words (I think she had ‘show, don’t tell’ pasted on repeat) to mechanics of the English language. My manuscript wouldn’t be what it is today without her help.

-Adam Schmitt (Author of SPEECHLESS, Candlewick Press, 2018)

The best thing I ever did was submit my ms to Judi during Pitch Wars! She took my work on outside of the contest, something I never expected and fully appreciated! Judi has an eye for plot and character, and she really helped dig into my ms and find exactly what I couldn’t see. Working with her was an amazing experience, and she truly loves helping writers become stronger. I recommend her services to everyone!

-Lynn Vroman (Author of INTO THE HOLLOW, Owl Hollow Press, 2018)

Judi is an extremely talented editor. She has an almost eerie knack for knowing what edits will make a book stronger. When I received my edit letter, I was amazed by how on point all her suggestions were. Things I hadn’t even considered suddenly made so much sense, and I couldn’t imagine my book without her great ideas being included. She doesn’t force any of her suggestions on you, but they’re so good that you’ll most likely want to use them all anyway. She won’t shy away from telling you what isn’t working, but she’ll also praise what is working so much you’ll be blushing behind your computer screen. She taught me so much, not just about my novel, but about writing and revising overall, and that’s knowledge I have under my belt now for future projects. I’m genuinely so happy I got to work with her and build a relationship with her not just as her mentee but as a friend. She helped me find my enthusiasm for reading and writing again, and when someone believes in you as much as she does, it’s impossible to give up.

-Danielle Thurby (2017 Pitch Wars Mentee)

Partial MS Edits:

Query Edit-$35 (Sale Price: $23)

Working on queries is one of my favorite parts of editing. It’s the first thing an agent or editor will see, and it’s incredibly important that you’re not missing anything crucial. For this service, I’ll go through your query, including bio, and give suggestions on where to cut or add, and also what might be missing. I work with the voice, stakes, motivations, goals, and more, making sure they get into the query.

Query and First Chapter Edit-$60 (Sale Price: $40)

Along with edits on your query, this package includes your first chapter too. If you’re getting a lot of rejections on the querying front, it may be time to get feedback on the query and first chapter. With this, I’ll be able to give you insight on what might be the reason behind rejections.

Query and First 50 Edit – $95 (Sale Price: $62)

Many major problems of manuscripts can be caught in the first fifty or so pages. I offer critique and editing on your query and first 50 pages.

For this, I read over both and make suggestions on what to cut and what to add, where you need to up the tension, input on your characters’ overall goals, motivations, and conflict. I also proofread during this process, looking for typos or any other grammatical errors.

Full MS Edits:

Edit Letter Only — $275 (Sale Price: $137.50)

If you’re seeking edits on plot, characters, goal/motivation/conflict, tension, dialogue, and more, this service focuses on the big picture. My edit letters outline your strengths and weaknesses, as well as ideas on how to fix them. My edit letters are usually between 4-7 pages in length, but may be longer depending on the shape your book is in.

This service doesn’t include in-line comments in the MS.

Submission Package — $550 (Sale Price: $275)

If you’d like this full MS edit WITHOUT the query and synopsis, I offer that for $420 (Sale Price: $210).

For those looking for the whole package critique: query, synopsis, edit letter, and in-line comments, I have a submission package.

I will read the manuscript over once for content editing, where I’ll make in-line comments and suggestions. I will also work on the query and synopsis.

This submission package doesn’t focus on grammatical errors. The main focus of edits is to be certain your plot is structured, your characters are three-dimensional, and your dialogue is fresh. During an edit and critique, I focus primarily on your story and making sure it’s the best it can be before you start sending it out.

This edit will contain an edit letter, usually between 4-7 pages where I will detail some of the bigger problems the story has and some thoughts on how to fix them.

The overall thoughts focus on whether or not your story holds attention, where things can be cut or added, and suggestions for how to make the manuscript tighter.

-Contact me to book a slot today.

Special Middle Grade Sale: 50% Off Full Edits for MG Manuscripts

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I’m really super excited to be able to run this sale. The first writer I ever mentored was for a middle grade book that’s coming out in three months from today! To celebrate, I’m offering full manuscript edits for ANY middle grade book at a 50% discount. Don’t have a middle grade manuscript? I’m offering any partial edit at 33% off for every age category.

What I do:

I can help you polish your manuscript and get it publication-ready. I work on big-picture issues, such as goal, motivation, conflict, character development and growth, plot structure, tension, and stakes. But I don’t just spot these problems, I also offer ideas on how to fix them, so that when you send your book to an agent or editor, it’s the best it can be.

The discount runs for this week only, meaning there are ten spots available. These spots typically go pretty quickly, so if you want one, send me an email at judi@judilauren.com today.

A bit about me:

I’m an assistant editor at Entangled publishing, working with Stacy Abrams, where I help make writer’s dreams come true. Some of the books I assisted with at Entangled include:

  • Kiss of the Royal by Lindsey Duga (July 2018)
  • Garden of Thorns by Amber Mitchell (March 2017)
  • Playing Her Secret Crush by Casey Griffin (2018)
  • Hiding Lies by Julie Cross (2018)

I’ve also been a PitchWars mentor, where I worked with promising writers to make their manuscripts shine. One of my mentees recently signed a two-book deal with Liz Pelletier at Entangled Teen. The mentee whose book is coming out in three (!!!) months sold his book to Candlewick Press. You can add it on Goodreads here!

Testimonials and a full list of my editing services are below!

Judi was amazing at seeing where I needed to develop on big picture area (character development, theme), the craft of my words (I think she had ‘show, don’t tell’ pasted on repeat) to mechanics of the English language. My manuscript wouldn’t be what it is today without her help.

-Adam Schmitt (Author of SPEECHLESS, Candlewick Press, 2018)

The best thing I ever did was submit my ms to Judi during Pitch Wars! She took my work on outside of the contest, something I never expected and fully appreciated! Judi has an eye for plot and character, and she really helped dig into my ms and find exactly what I couldn’t see. Working with her was an amazing experience, and she truly loves helping writers become stronger. I recommend her services to everyone!

-Lynn Vroman (represented by MacKenzie Fraser-Bub of Fraser-Bub Lit)

Judi is an extremely talented editor. She has an almost eerie knack for knowing what edits will make a book stronger. When I received my edit letter, I was amazed by how on point all her suggestions were. Things I hadn’t even considered suddenly made so much sense, and I couldn’t imagine my book without her great ideas being included. She doesn’t force any of her suggestions on you, but they’re so good that you’ll most likely want to use them all anyway. She won’t shy away from telling you what isn’t working, but she’ll also praise what is working so much you’ll be blushing behind your computer screen. She taught me so much, not just about my novel, but about writing and revising overall, and that’s knowledge I have under my belt now for future projects. I’m genuinely so happy I got to work with her and build a relationship with her not just as her mentee but as a friend. She helped me find my enthusiasm for reading and writing again, and when someone believes in you as much as she does, it’s impossible to give up.

-Danielle Thurby (2017 Pitch Wars Mentee)

Partial MS Edits:

Query Edit-$35 (Sale Price: $23)

Working on queries is one of my favorite parts of editing. It’s the first thing an agent or editor will see, and it’s incredibly important that you’re not missing anything crucial. For this service, I’ll go through your query, including bio, and give suggestions on where to cut or add, and also what might be missing. I work with the voice, stakes, motivations, goals, and more, making sure they get into the query.

Query and First Chapter Edit-$60 (Sale Price: $40)

Along with edits on your query, this package includes your first chapter too. If you’re getting a lot of rejections on the querying front, it may be time to get feedback on the query and first chapter. With this, I’ll be able to give you insight on what might be the reason behind rejections.

Query and First 50 Edit – $95 (Sale Price: $62)

Many major problems of manuscripts can be caught in the first fifty or so pages. I offer critique and editing on your query and first 50 pages.

For this, I read over both and make suggestions on what to cut and what to add, where you need to up the tension, input on your characters’ overall goals, motivations, and conflict. I also proofread during this process, looking for typos or any other grammatical errors.

Full MS Edits:

Edit Letter Only — $275 (Sale Price: $137.50)

If you’re seeking edits on plot, characters, goal/motivation/conflict, tension, dialogue, and more, this service focuses on the big picture. My edit letters outline your strengths and weaknesses, as well as ideas on how to fix them. My edit letters are usually between 4-7 pages in length, but may be longer depending on the shape your book is in.

This service doesn’t include in-line comments in the MS.

Submission Package — $550 (Sale Price: $275)

If you’d like this full MS edit WITHOUT the query and synopsis, I offer that for $420 (Sale Price: $210).

For those looking for the whole package critique: query, synopsis, edit letter, and in-line comments, I have a submission package.

I will read the manuscript over once for content editing, where I’ll make in-line comments and suggestions. I will also work on the query and synopsis.

This submission package doesn’t focus on grammatical errors. The main focus of edits is to be certain your plot is structured, your characters are three-dimensional, and your dialogue is fresh. During an edit and critique, I focus primarily on your story and making sure it’s the best it can be before you start sending it out.

This edit will contain an edit letter, usually between 4-7 pages where I will detail some of the bigger problems the story has and some thoughts on how to fix them.

The overall thoughts focus on whether or not your story holds attention, where things can be cut or added, and suggestions for how to make the manuscript tighter.

-Contact me to book a slot today.

The Importance of an Irresistible Query Letter

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I’ve worked with a lot of slush piles–from Pitch Wars to my job as an assistant editor at Entangled Publishing. The query is so important to your writing career. It’s the pitch that could help you land an agent or a book deal. Yet I’ve come across writers who don’t think the query is that important. Some believe if the agent or editor or mentor just gets to the sample pages, they’ll definitely request. This is a self-sabotaging way to think about your query for two big reasons:

  1. When you send a poorly written query to an agent or editor, it sends them a message that you don’t care enough about your book to give it a proper query. And if you don’t care about your book, why should they? If a writer can’t be bothered to make the book sound interesting, with the goals, conflict, motivations, stakes, etc., why should an agent or editor bother to read it?
  2. Not every agent and editor reads sample pages. It’s tough, but true. There are agents that only want to see a query letter in the submission, no sample pages. If you don’t have an irresistible query letter, you’re not moving forward with your submission.

Agencies and publishing houses can get 100+ queries a week. Part of my job is going through that general slush pile and pulling things I think my boss would love to work on. A couple months ago, I pulled one just from the query letter; I didn’t even read the writing sample before alerting my boss to it because from the query, I knew the story itself would be good. We acquired it just a few weeks later. In just a couple hundred words, the writer made me intrigued enough to care about her characters before I’d even opened the sample pages.

Just because you’ve written a great book doesn’t mean you can write a terrific query, and that’s okay. But if you know that’s an issue, invest in an editor for it, or run it by CPs and beta readers until you’re satisfied. Take that extra time to give your manuscript the chances it deserves.

For some quick tips on query letter writing, check out my post on conflict and stakes. There’s also this unbelievably thorough post on writing query letters from Jane Friedman.

And I’m giving away a free query edit to one writer. To enter, simply comment on this post, OR comment/retweet this tweet.

An Ode to My Pitch Wars Mentees of 2017!!!!

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The agent round of Pitch Wars is over!!! What I’ve been left with so far are amazing mentees, zero sleep, and NaNoWrimo+Pitch Wars hair combined. For those of you who don’t know what Pitch Wars is, check it out here. In a nutshell, it’s a long, grueling process that (95% of the time) builds relationships that last lifetimes.

This year, I was fortunate enough to get two mentees: Danielle and Alex. I painstakingly scrolled through my Twitter posts until I found the ones when I was going through my submission pile and first tweeted about them, before anyone (including me) knew they’d be my choices.

Danielle: (She favorited this tweet)

Alex: (She didn’t favorite her own tweet. You’d think she would, knowing how much I talk about wanting to visit Paris!)

I’ve had the BEST time mentoring these two! Every contest I mentor someone, I get nervous we won’t connect or they won’t like the edits I suggest or they won’t measure up to my amazing first mentee Adam. But I never should’ve worried with Danielle and Alex. They handled my insanely long edit letters so well, rewrote several portions of their books, and didn’t disown me as a mentor when they got line edits back. I’ve spent the last two months gushing about both of them on my Twitter, but just like my amazing mentees from last year, these two deserve their own blog post.

Danielle-I was really hoping for a super dark, realistic contemporary with intense angst. Not only did Danielle’s book check all those boxes, it’s also one of my most favorite sibling stories I’ve ever read! I mentioned on my mentor blog hop that I wouldn’t mind seeing a YA version of Supernatural. I don’t think I could’ve asked for a better one. She fearlessly added a second POV to the story, didn’t cringe when we had to cut about 13k, and did an amazing job on her pitch that made me want to read the book all over again!

Alex-My second most-wanted category was dark fantasy, and I had a ton of amazing submissions in this category. But there was something about Alex’s that was so amazing, I couldn’t stop reading. And I’m so glad I couldn’t! Alex has been an amazing person to work with! Her writing is stunningly beautiful and she created a world in her book that I could spend all day in!

I’m so thankful to Brenda for allowing me to have both these wonderful women as my mentees this year. I can’t wait for the world to see their amazing books! I’ve had a blast working with them and I’m already looking forward to Pitch Wars 2018!